Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Name Change

When reading Your Spirited Child I found so much to be relevant, encouraging and helpful that I knew I would read it again. This time I have my own copy and am highlighting it fiercely. I'm stuck on chapter two; it's about labels.

In my previous post about the book, I said
The author uses "spirited" in lieu of stubborn, difficult, strong willed, mother killer, or Dennis the Menace. I don't hesitate to use all those words to describe my son, Destructo. Spirited, however, seems to have a more positive twist.
The more I think about calling my dear son, Destructo, I'm convinced I need to change his bloggy name to something more positive.

The author warns against labels - especially the negative ones. She tells a story of a little girl who misbehaves. The grandmother corrects the child, to which the child replied, "It's okay, I'm supposed to be the wild one."

Here are some examples of positive and negative labels. I'm working to use the positive ones.

holds high standards instead of demanding
enthusiastic and zestful instead of loud
curious instead of nosy
energetic instead of wild
compelling instead of impatient
dramatic instead of explosive
selective instead of picky
perceptive instead of distractible

and my favorites:
opinionated, strongly committed to one's goals instead of argumentative
assertive, persistent in the face of obstacles instead of stubborn

One of the closing paragraphs says
Don't let others intimidate you with hurtful labels. Teach them to use words that reflect your child's potential by using them yourself.
I've chatted with a few friends and of course my husband and I'm leaning towards calling him Mr. Intensity. What do you think of that nickname?


Allison said...

This post has made me want to read this book! I think, had my family labeled me differently (holds high standards instead of picky and critical? Wow) it would have made things easier for me as a kid. And maybe, even, as an adult. So I want to change that pattern with my own daughter.

The Eberle Family said...

Got a good one for "high maintenance"? Isaac just is very needy--of my attention and being entertained constantly. High maintenance is what I think of but I am sure there is something more positive??!!

Amanda said...

Call me an optimist, but for a little boy is Destructo really THAT bad? Boys are suppose to be daring, adventurous and curious. It's in their nature!
I really like Mr. Intensity too.

(BTW-I'm the wife of Joel's friend Chris. I love reading this blog. It is an inspiration!)


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