Saturday, January 17, 2009

Back in KY

Thursday morning Hubby and I left Arkansas and headed to my sister's house in KY. The nine-plus hours spent in the car were good to process our loss.

Had we the opportunity to do it over again, with the information we had, we would. Hubby and I tried to remember any major red flags we might have ignored along the way and couldn't think of any. Every adoption, just as any pregnancy, is a risk and this one appeared to be low risk.

Looking for the silver lining in the cloud of a failed adoption, here are some of the things for which we are thankful:

- Angela changed her mind before baby was born .

- I didn't hold the baby (some friends of ours had a baby for 9 days before the b.mom changed her mind).

-After interacting with Angela through this process, I have more compassion for those stuck in a cycle of poverty.

- Our attorney is refunding some money, though the contract doesn't require her. If you're wanting to do an adoption in Arkansas, Kaye McLeod is cream of the crop.

- Though not many b.moms come to Kaye without families, Kaye is willing to show our profile if/when one comes her way.

- We didn't have to pay the adoption agency in Arkansas

- Being in AR to process the disappointment without Mr. Intensity was a blessing. He knows we want to adopt, but we've intentionally kept him in the dark with details.

- Because Hubby was there to work, I was able to meet with friends during the day. The morning we left town, I met Holly Bertram for the first time (we've been lurking on each other's blog). She has a son who's about 6 months younger than Mr. Intensity and the boys are so-scary-similar. I felt an instant camaraderie in her kitchen...finally, a woman who understands me and my son's quirkiness.

- Driving back to KY on I-40, we stopped to see Marie in Nashville. She lived across the street from us for 5 years in Little Rock and is now 88 years young. Just last year she sold her car because she didn't want to have an accident. In the picture you'll see that I'm wearing an apron and holding a basket she made and gave to me. Seeing her again was definitely a highlight of my week.

15 comments:

Shannon said...

So sorry Julie!

missy said...

i'm sorry that it didn't work out. it is beautiful to see how you are trusting the lord in the midst of the disappointment.

MerrandaVK said...

Thanks for sharing with us along this journey. One of our friends just went through a failed adoption too, after being with the baby for 2 days.. How uplifting to our Father to post about the blessings through it all.

W. Mark Whitlock said...

Praying for you. I'm so sorry and will pray for the b.mom, too. My b.mom was 16 when she had me. I've often wondered if she had second thoughts or wailed when I was removed from her arms.

God is the God of comfort and peace.

Annie G said...

John, Julie,
I am truly so sorry to hear of your loss. I'll be praying that the Lord places YOUR little one in your arms soon. And that meanwhile you can grieve and grow excited onces again to grow your family.

reprehriestless warillever said...

It is so hard to see our blessings through our sorrow, but you are doing it. God bless.

Alli said...

Julie,
I am so sorry for you and John and that this didn't happen. I will be praying that in the Lord's timing a child will be provided for your sweet family.

Heather said...

Julie, My heart goes out to you and your family. I'm praying that the God of all comfort continues to shower you with peace and comfort during this season.

Aisha said...

I am so sorry for your loss, Julie. I'll be praying for the Lord's continued comfort for you guys.

Bethany said...

I am sorry for your loss, but am glad you were able to see some silver linings throughout the process. Thank you for sharing.

Sunday said...

Julie,
So sorry to hear of your loss. I know you've been down this road before and have found the Savior to be all you need...but it still hurts. Praying for you and crying with you. We long for the day when all that is unknown will be known and until then we trust our Father's faithfulness.

Sunday (for all)

Mom and Kiddo said...

I'm sorry the adoption did not work out. You obviously have so much ove in your lives and you are blessed to see the silver lining.

Jeanette said...

Julie, I am so sorry to hear about this. Praying that the Lord will bring you peace, comfort and hope.

Tim said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mandy said...

i was just catching up with what is going on with you and am so sorry to hear what happened ~ i'll be praying for you friend

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